What is love? In the context of marriage, it is the passionate affection for a spouse. Love is one of the essentials of marriage and it is different from a fleshly desire called lust. Love cares much about the other person.
When I was in courtship with my wife we used to spend so much time with each other. Some people who were watching what was going on between the two of us took courage and began asking my fiancee what we talked about, as we spent so much time together. In those days an hour together with each other seemed like a very short time. This was due to the fact that we were in love. Love can tune out all the distractions in a relationship. If you love someone, very few distractions can make you lose focus on him or her.
This reminds me of the Bible story of Jacob who worked for seven years to marry Rachel, but ended up with Leah. He was willing to work another seven years for Rachel because he loved her so much. Jacob was not bothered by the length of time it was going to take for him to finally marry Rachel. He labored for another seven years because he loved Rachel so much. When a man loves a woman the affection goes as far her children. Look at Genesis 33: 2 “And he put the handmaids and their children foremost, and Leah and her children after, and Rachel and Joseph hinder most”. The level of care for Jacob’s children differed. This had a lot to do with the love that he had for Rachel. Life had dished a handful of trouble, but he tried every best possible way to resolve his issues.
Love and Family Issues
Jacob the crafty one faced craftiness in his uncles house. He did it to his brother now his uncle was doing it to him. Esau wanted soup, but later Jacob also had a need when he wanted a wife. When he faced the same thing he did to his brother Esau, he just was not as strict. He had no right to judge his uncle so strictly. He had done it to his brother seven or so years earlier. When Jesus came many years later after Jacob with all his issues, he dared the people who accused a woman caught in adultery by challenging them to cast the first stone if they had no sin. It is true that all people have missed the mark. All have sinned and no one is righteous. Righteousness now comes only through faith in Christ. Jacob did not cast his stone against Laban. There was no way Esau was going to punish or kill Jacob. Whatever a man sows, that is what he would also reaps. Something similar happened in King David’s family because of the murder of one of his sons due to the rape that occurred in the family. The situation in King David’s family became so complex that God had to be involved.
When two people come together without that true affection for each other, it can be difficult for them to achieve a true sense of oneness. The two should really be able to become one to be fruitful in whatever they do. Remember that being together does not mean that you are united. Unity means being one in heart and mind and it occurs when internal resources of two or more people are united for a common purpose. Their purpose becomes unified and that makes their plans to be more achievable. Jesus says that if two of us shall agree together in his name then that which we agree upon shall be accomplished. There is power to achieve what a couple wants when it agrees on what it wants. Agreeing together is a factor in what can be achieved in marriage. God said, ”
let there be…” whether it is light, firmament or earth as is noted in Genesis chapter one, but in verse twenty six we are told, “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them”. The key words here are the words, “Let us…”.
God did not say let there be a man, instead he said “let us make man”. Later he could have said, let there be a woman, but he did not. He did not say let one man have dominion over another man. He did not say; let man have dominion over a woman. The method of how God did things in the beginning has impact on how what he made relates to one another in all those specific areas of creation. In the relationship between man and woman it is very unique because God took a rib and created a woman from it. The relationship between man and woman is much closer and it operates under the principles of love. The relationship between man and animals also operates under uniquely crafted principles that are coeval in relation to that process of creation. The sun, moon, earth and other planets operate under unique principles in their relationship with each other. The relationship of a married couple should operate under the principle of love. The couple must say “let us…” do this or do that because this signifies that they agree and can be able to accomplish a common goal. There is no room for “let me…” because that would be selfish and limiting. The words” let us” are inclusive.