Why Men Refuse Counseling

Men refuse counseling for a number of reasons. One of the reasons is in regard to the way men think of themselves. I am of the opinion that cognitive as well as environmental factors play a major role in men’s ability to seek counseling.First of all, any man who needs counseling must acknowledge the fact that he has a problem. Pride can easily stop a man from taking this first step and definitely has a lot to do with the way one thinks of himself. The sad part is that pride in time past and even now has managed to steal good things from men in life. However, to find solutions to to the issues of life, humility has to plays a major part in bringing about the desired change.

According to McKelley and Rochlen (2007) coaching as a method of helping men is effective. As a matter of fact, coaching can be used in different settings which include helping Athletes who may work on short comings in their performance. Actors use coaching for developing performance skills in their acting careers too. What is key in coaching as a method is that it creates a helping relationship between the coach and the client who is wishing to improve a life situation.

Since men think in terms of developing new skills and usually focus on behavior change, traditional counseling methods may not appeal to them. This makes coaching one of the appealing means of helping men to bring change in life.

Coaching helps clients to:

1. Improve relationships
2. Develop a range of behaviors that are flexible
3. Increase self-confidence and
4. Increase sensitivity to communication issues with other people.

Coaching also makes men to be able to avoid the stigma involved in consulting professional help as noted when seeking counseling (McKelley & Rochlen, 2007).

It seems more clear that men tend to refuse counseling due to the stigma involved. Definitely no man can desire or want to be thought of as being a misfits or failures in his role at home and work settings. This is the reason why I believe coaching is appealing and can be utilized by men without the fear of being labeled as misfits or “crazy”.


McKelley, R., & Rochlen, A. (2007). The Practice of Coaching: Exploring Alternatives to Therapy for            Counseling-Resistant Men. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 8(1), 53-65.